As we finish this focus on relationships I invite you to renew the covenant you have made with your spouse through marriage, but also the covenant you have with your family. Many people view their relationships as a contract and not a covenant, but these two relational agreements are different.
A contract is usually a written agreement based on distrust. It is written to make sure the other person fulfills their conditions and the consequences if broken. It comes with limited liability and establishes a time frame for certain requirements to be met and accomplished. A contract can be broken with mutual consent.
However, a covenant is a verbal commitment based on trust, assuring someone that your promise is unconditional and good for life. It is spoken before God out of love for another. It is for the benefit of others and comes with unlimited responsibility and has no expiration date. It is intended to be unbreakable.
With a contract we can find reasons and excuses to break the contract, but a covenant is a commitment to continue on no matter what. We can renew our covenant relationships with those we love and recommit ourselves to loving others with the unconditional love of God. Our families and relationships will only be fireproof as long as we are striving for God's love to live in us. So let's not settle for what we have, but strive forward in God's love.
SIDE NOTE: As I begin my spiritual renewal time Thursday I will be away for four weeks, but I hope to blog twice a week if I have the Internet available, but I am not sure I will always have Internet. (Although Al Gore, "inventor of the Internet", is from Tennessee, they are still not fully into the 21st Century in all places.) I just want to have a place to share whatever God is teaching me in my renewal time. I will be praying for you, so I hope you will pray for me as well.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Love and Marriage
Who knew marriage would be hard work? (Probably everyone who has been married) Before becoming married there seemed to be this ideal, prefect little picture of marriage in my mind. I thought if you had love, you had enough and everything would be fine. I am not totally sure where that picture came from since my parents were divorced, and I have no memories of them together as a couple. Yet, that picture was there.
Six and a half years later, I know marriage does not just happen. It is not all fun and games. But I also know I am blessed to be in love with and loved by a wonderful woman. One of the things that I continue to see in Helen is her huge heart. As she works with children I can see her love and care for each child. When she is working with youth or adults I can see her passion for them to know and understand God's love. I do tease her often because she cries a lot at movies, TV shows, and even music when it speaks to her. The tears come when she is reminded of someone's hurt and pain. She wishes everyone could be protected by God's love from all harm and it hurts her when others are in pain.
The Love Dare reminds us on Day 34 that "Love Celebrates Godliness." We need to celebrate the godliness we see in other people and especially in our spouses. We will celebrate and cheer for success at work or at play, but we need to put so much more energy into celebrating those we love who draw near to God and represent God to others. So celebrate other's growth in Christian character. Celebrate their persevering in faith, their seeking purity, and their growing in giving and service. Encourage them as God continues to bring out his best in them.
When we put in some hard work in the right areas God will bless our marriages and relationships, so that they may become fireproof.
Six and a half years later, I know marriage does not just happen. It is not all fun and games. But I also know I am blessed to be in love with and loved by a wonderful woman. One of the things that I continue to see in Helen is her huge heart. As she works with children I can see her love and care for each child. When she is working with youth or adults I can see her passion for them to know and understand God's love. I do tease her often because she cries a lot at movies, TV shows, and even music when it speaks to her. The tears come when she is reminded of someone's hurt and pain. She wishes everyone could be protected by God's love from all harm and it hurts her when others are in pain.
The Love Dare reminds us on Day 34 that "Love Celebrates Godliness." We need to celebrate the godliness we see in other people and especially in our spouses. We will celebrate and cheer for success at work or at play, but we need to put so much more energy into celebrating those we love who draw near to God and represent God to others. So celebrate other's growth in Christian character. Celebrate their persevering in faith, their seeking purity, and their growing in giving and service. Encourage them as God continues to bring out his best in them.
When we put in some hard work in the right areas God will bless our marriages and relationships, so that they may become fireproof.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Look at Me
In our congregation we are starting a new focus as the new year begins. The focus is on making our relationships fireproof. Fireproof means, capable of preventing or withstanding damage by fire. All of our relationships can be damaged by the fires of life. So many things can happen that ruin relationships that could have been prevented or withstood had the relationship been fireproof. We need to protect and deepen our relationships, especially those relationships closest to us like our spouse and family.
What has hit me the most as I read through "The Love Dare" a book used inthe movie "Fireproof" is the way it does not help me change other people, but it makes me look at myself. I have to look at how I love other people. As I began to do this I noticed the little ways I excuse myself for selfish behaviors. I justify my actions as I get frustrated when others act the exact same way.
I have to come to terms with the fact that my sinful nature of selfishness is still living in me. I had hoped I had killed that years ago, but it is still kicking. There are ways I can work on showing love to other people, especially my wife.
So let's see what happens as I take the love dare. And I invite anyone else to join in looking at yourself and seeing if you can do better at loving other people. Look at 1 Corinthians 13 for the model of love and I dare you to see how you compare.
What has hit me the most as I read through "The Love Dare" a book used inthe movie "Fireproof" is the way it does not help me change other people, but it makes me look at myself. I have to look at how I love other people. As I began to do this I noticed the little ways I excuse myself for selfish behaviors. I justify my actions as I get frustrated when others act the exact same way.
I have to come to terms with the fact that my sinful nature of selfishness is still living in me. I had hoped I had killed that years ago, but it is still kicking. There are ways I can work on showing love to other people, especially my wife.
So let's see what happens as I take the love dare. And I invite anyone else to join in looking at yourself and seeing if you can do better at loving other people. Look at 1 Corinthians 13 for the model of love and I dare you to see how you compare.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Other Kitchen Tables
Yesterday for those who braved the cold temperatures I shared about finding Christmas at the kitchen table. I compared the kitchen table to the dining room table. The dining room table is where we eat when we have guests over. It is usually decorated and has a wide spread of food. It is not how we eat everyday. Everyday, my family eats at the kitchen table. That is where real life happens for us.
So I wondered where Christmas happens in real life? I shared a few examples, but one I did not share happened almost two weeks ago. I was in a hospital room at St. Luke's in Cedar Rapids. One of the families from our church was told their mother/grandmother would not live much longer. I went to be with them for a few hours for a prayer and some comfort.
I remember standing around the hospital bed of this woman I had met a few times when I felt the Spirit of Christmas hit home with me. The family was sharing memories of their mother and grandmother. They were talking about how the girls were making mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner, the day they brought their mother to the hospital, and they did not make them correctly. We laughed about other silly things in the midst of the sorrow of losing this loved one. (She died the next morning.)
In that moment as I looked around at this family laughing and crying together that this was a kitchen table, this was a place where life was happening and the Spirit of God was present. I knew God was working in the hearts and lives of this family. I knew their Christmas would not be easy this year, but I also knew they would make it through with God's help.
I pray this Christmas the Spirit of God will meet you where you are and that you will celebrate anew the birth of our Savior.
So I wondered where Christmas happens in real life? I shared a few examples, but one I did not share happened almost two weeks ago. I was in a hospital room at St. Luke's in Cedar Rapids. One of the families from our church was told their mother/grandmother would not live much longer. I went to be with them for a few hours for a prayer and some comfort.
I remember standing around the hospital bed of this woman I had met a few times when I felt the Spirit of Christmas hit home with me. The family was sharing memories of their mother and grandmother. They were talking about how the girls were making mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner, the day they brought their mother to the hospital, and they did not make them correctly. We laughed about other silly things in the midst of the sorrow of losing this loved one. (She died the next morning.)
In that moment as I looked around at this family laughing and crying together that this was a kitchen table, this was a place where life was happening and the Spirit of God was present. I knew God was working in the hearts and lives of this family. I knew their Christmas would not be easy this year, but I also knew they would make it through with God's help.
I pray this Christmas the Spirit of God will meet you where you are and that you will celebrate anew the birth of our Savior.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Blue Christmas
My message yesterday was a reminder to celebrate the joy of Christmas like the shepherds of Luke 2. They were working when an angel showed up and shared with them the message of the birth of the Savior. This begun the very first Christmas office party.
Christmas for many of us is a mainly joyous occasion as we get to spend time with family and give and receive gifts. But for some people Christmas is a reminder of difficulties in life. Some do not have great families or others to connect with during the holidays. For some this may be their first Christmas without a spouse, parent or child. So Christmas becomes a reminder of sorrow instead of joy.
I was just reminded this past week about my grandma whose health is failing. She seems to be having some dementia and is not her normal self. I was reminded of this as we ate a chicken casserole that is very similar to my grandma's turketti, which she made every year after Thanksgiving with leftover turkey. When I was growing up we would eat turketti for weeks until Christmas. This year there was not any turketti and it may seem funny, but it is a sad reminder to me that my grandma will not live forever and the end of her life here may be near.
These kinds of feelings people often hide or try to ignore during the holidays because we are suppose to be cheerful, and yet the pain is real. At some point I would like our church to have something like a blue Christmas service, where you remember loved ones who have died and the other realities of sorrow during the holidays.
I hope Christmas will bring you joy, but I also want to recognize there is pain and sorrow we remember during the holidays as well. I hope and pray you can share these feelings with others or with me because we can find comfort in our sorrow together as we lean on the Lord for strength.
Christmas for many of us is a mainly joyous occasion as we get to spend time with family and give and receive gifts. But for some people Christmas is a reminder of difficulties in life. Some do not have great families or others to connect with during the holidays. For some this may be their first Christmas without a spouse, parent or child. So Christmas becomes a reminder of sorrow instead of joy.
I was just reminded this past week about my grandma whose health is failing. She seems to be having some dementia and is not her normal self. I was reminded of this as we ate a chicken casserole that is very similar to my grandma's turketti, which she made every year after Thanksgiving with leftover turkey. When I was growing up we would eat turketti for weeks until Christmas. This year there was not any turketti and it may seem funny, but it is a sad reminder to me that my grandma will not live forever and the end of her life here may be near.
These kinds of feelings people often hide or try to ignore during the holidays because we are suppose to be cheerful, and yet the pain is real. At some point I would like our church to have something like a blue Christmas service, where you remember loved ones who have died and the other realities of sorrow during the holidays.
I hope Christmas will bring you joy, but I also want to recognize there is pain and sorrow we remember during the holidays as well. I hope and pray you can share these feelings with others or with me because we can find comfort in our sorrow together as we lean on the Lord for strength.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Christmas Traditions
I mentioned yesterday that so many times we, as Christians, come to Christmas and say it will be different. We remember years past when we have been caught up in all of hype of Christmas. We focus on the gift giving and receiving. We are running around from one Christmas activity to another. We are visiting or hosting family. And somewhere in the middle of all of this we are to remember the meaning of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus. He is Emmanuel, God with us.
So as this Christmas comes I am again thinking of promises to make it different. I want to simplify Christmas and get less caught up in the Christmas activities and get caught up in the Christmas Spirit.
Helen and I have been encouraging our families to give fewer gifts to each other and find some ministry that we can support instead. It is tough for some to change the traditions of the past. We know we remember Christmas for getting great gifts, but we would like our children to remember Christmas for celebrating Jesus' birthday and giving great gifts to those in need in this world. We know it is up to us to change our traditions to be about celebrating God in this world instead of celebrating worldliness.
Do any of you have traditions that celebrate this giving spirit of Christmas? Let me know where you and your family have developed Christmas traditions that may be different than other traditions. And may we prepare for a special Christmas this year.
So as this Christmas comes I am again thinking of promises to make it different. I want to simplify Christmas and get less caught up in the Christmas activities and get caught up in the Christmas Spirit.
Helen and I have been encouraging our families to give fewer gifts to each other and find some ministry that we can support instead. It is tough for some to change the traditions of the past. We know we remember Christmas for getting great gifts, but we would like our children to remember Christmas for celebrating Jesus' birthday and giving great gifts to those in need in this world. We know it is up to us to change our traditions to be about celebrating God in this world instead of celebrating worldliness.
Do any of you have traditions that celebrate this giving spirit of Christmas? Let me know where you and your family have developed Christmas traditions that may be different than other traditions. And may we prepare for a special Christmas this year.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Prayers of Thanks
It is that time of year when we focus of being thankful. I almost hate to start listing what I am thankful for because I will have to stop somewhere because there would not be enough time to share everything I am thankful for this year.
I am thankful for two beautiful, healthy children. They bring so much joy into my life. They keep me on my toes and they teach me a lot about love. The only person I am more thankful for is my lovely wife. She keeps putting up with me for some reason, and she continues to bless me with care and support.
I am also thankful for good nights of sleep, frappuccinos and the Nintendo Wii.
Most of all I am thankful for a congregation that is thankful. Yesterday many thanksgivings were shared. Many of the thanks were from people who have faced some challenges recently in their lives and their church family has been there to encourage them. Another thanksgiving that stood out in my mind was a thanksgiving in knowing that no matter what they faced they knew their church family would support them. It is a blessing to have a congregation that knows they will be supported no matter the difficulty or challenge.
I thank God every time I think of you. Is anyone else thankful???
I am thankful for two beautiful, healthy children. They bring so much joy into my life. They keep me on my toes and they teach me a lot about love. The only person I am more thankful for is my lovely wife. She keeps putting up with me for some reason, and she continues to bless me with care and support.
I am also thankful for good nights of sleep, frappuccinos and the Nintendo Wii.
Most of all I am thankful for a congregation that is thankful. Yesterday many thanksgivings were shared. Many of the thanks were from people who have faced some challenges recently in their lives and their church family has been there to encourage them. Another thanksgiving that stood out in my mind was a thanksgiving in knowing that no matter what they faced they knew their church family would support them. It is a blessing to have a congregation that knows they will be supported no matter the difficulty or challenge.
I thank God every time I think of you. Is anyone else thankful???
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
