I have been struggling with this idea lately about leadership in my family. I read a book on leading your family with purpose and realized it was the first book of that kind that I have read. I have a whole shelf of books about leading a church or organization, but just one on leading my family. This book challenged me in this area because I spend so much time visioning and looking for clarity around the direction of my church, but I spend no time looking for direction for my family.
So, I want to get better at leading my family. I am planning to use the advice of the book I read, "The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family" by Patrick Lencioni. (I do not feel right putting the questions on the internet because I feel those belong to Lencioni, but if you talk with me I will share them with you.)
The first question helps you to know who your family is. It helps you discover the core values that are important to your family. This is significant in helping you know when to say "no". When an activity or request comes to your family you can ask if it fits with who you are. If it doesn't, then you can turn it down.
The second question is about what you need to focus on in your family at this time. What pressing issue needs to be your top priority for 2 to 6 months? This could be practical like cleaning the garage to be able to get a car into it, or getting your financial or physical health moving in the right direction. It could also be focusing on a relationship or behavior like potty training or helping a child through a tough transition.
After you come up with your focus and time line, then you come up with your defining objectives which tell what specifically you will do to address the issue. And you come up with standard objectives which remind you not to forget your core values.
The final question asks how you will continually keep these answers visible. You need to continue to remember who you are and what you want to accomplish. It is suggested that you have a ten minute meeting once a week to go over this information, decide how you are doing, and come up with what needs to be done to continue moving in the right direction.
This is just a quick overview of the book, so if you have questions let me know. Also if you would like some help setting up this form of leading your family I would be happy to help. Really it should only take an hour to answer and organize these questions into a helpful format, so that is not much time to give for your family to find its direction.
My prayer is that our families can gain some focus and receive the attention they deserve. Too many families are being separated and distracted as every individual goes their own way. Instead, we can grow as families, be a team, and work together for a common purpose.
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2 comments:
Boy I can't tell you how much I needed that sermon on Sunday and how true that video was to our situation... well a mild version anyway. Danny and I are taking back control of our family starting off the week with no tv or video games. They is plenty to do as a family without the television. In fact we started making valentine decorations! We are excited to get our family back on track and to work TOGETHER and not against each other! Is anyone else out there going through this too?
We have started limiting the girls to 15 min. a day with either computer or DS, they have their choice. If we didn't do this they would sit and play computer games or video games all day. The Wii is excluded in this rule because most the games we have gets them up off the couch and they have to move.
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